Well it certainly has been a long time since I posted anything so I thought why not start up again!? Having Brynnley has been the most life changing experience I have ever had! There are SOO many people out there who don't want kids or put a stigma on kids that is very negative! " Once you have kids EVERYTHING CHANGES!" "You don't sleep till they move out!" "All the spontaneity is gone" ect.... Well I have found that yes everything has changed, but it has been the best change, and not I haven't slept very good, but I love every waking minute I get to spend with my baby, and yes the spontaneity...well has changed, but finding and discovering those quick and quite moments that Mike and I can share are so precious. My love for him has grown 10 fold since seeing him hold our daughter for the first time. Knowing that little life was created by the 2 of us is amazing! I fall in love with him even more every time I see her smile at him, when he fights me for a turn to hold her, and especially when I see them together sharing a moment in the nursery!
Being a Mom is nothing and everything I thought it would be all at the same time. I never realized how much I would love her, or how I would do anything for her. I never realized how my outlook on life would change. All of a sudden if the house is a mess, I don't care as much, because taking care of that little girl is so much more important! I am so much more appreciative of my relationship with my Mom, oh how much she must love me and I never even realized it! But whats more I have started to learn about the love my Heavenly Father has for me! I can honestly say that I know that there is nothing I could do or say that would make him quit loving me, which honestly is an overwhelming feeling! I feel that becoming a mother has made me a kinder person as well, I feel that every person is a child to someone, and I would never want anyone to treat Brynnley unkindly, so I am feel I wouldn't want to treat anyone like that!
I have found that spending time with my daughter is like being sucked into a time warp! Not because everything takes longer, but I could just sit and stare at her all day and it would only feel like moments, my Mom and I joke that it is called the "Brynnley Time Warp"! I also remember being terrified that my baby would not be cute, but oh boy was I wrong! Maybe Heavenly Father designed it that way so every parent would be smitten with love by their newborn, but I honestly think my baby is cuter than any other baby I have ever seen! I see so much of Mike in her that I barely see myself in her at all, but that is fine with me, I love having a mini Mike!
When we were getting ready to leave the hospital, we were getting our bags packed and signing all the papers I felt so excited and I couldn't wait to start this next stage in our lives, but as the nurse wheeled me downstairs and sat there with her waiting for Mike to pull the car around, I suddenly realized that the nice comfortable bubble that the hospital provided, meals to our room, nurses to help watch her at night so we could sleep, endless staff to help with questions and medication and my care, was about to disappear and I had NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING! Mike and I even commented to each other that we couldn't believe that the hospital was letting us leave the hospital with this baby! But luckily we had an amazing support team! Meals being brought in and our mothers constant watchful eye we made it.
When I was in labor in the hospital I told Mike "we are not having anymore children" totally unaware of how consumed I was about to become by this little life about to grace us with her presence! It took about a week and now I can honestly say I can't wait to have more!
Having Mike leave for 2 weeks to Oklahoma when Brynnley was 2 weeks was very hard, hard on me, hard on him, hard on Brynn. But this time around has been a whole new level of hard. Not necessarily harder but a different kind of hard. Brynnley is aware that daddy is gone, its hard to express how she shows it but she misses her Daddy! Plus with Christmas a week away and still needing to decorate the tree that makes it hard to!
I am so grateful for the opportunity I have had to have Brynnley come into my home. I can tell she is very special! She is the most smiley happy baby and has such a sweet spirit about her! I love her more than words can express! Yes my life has been forever changed and will never be the same, but I do not look at it as the death of my old life and my new life with will now forever be condemned to poopy diapers, 3 hour sleep increments, spit up and loss of fun, I look at it as the greatest joy I will ever experience and I hope to savor every minute of it because I know it will go by so quickly!
I love you all and thanks for all of your support, kind words and thoughts for us these past 2 months! I truly am blessed to have you in my life! Take care!
<3
Lindy
